I’m struggling… // A very personal post about why I don’t enjoy blogging, my struggles with anxiety + why I need a BREAK (aka this is a rambly mess)

Do y’all know that video of the girl who got a speeding ticket and then she has a full emotional breakdown because “her life is going extremely downhill”. Because that is EXACTLY how I feel right now.

I honestly don’t even know how else to introduce this post.

This is basically just going to be me rambling about my life and everything that is going wrong at this very moment.

I’m in a pretty bad mental state, I could not care less about blogging right now, I lack any and all motivation to study for my exam and my reading mojo is off. I usually don’t talk about my struggles on my blog, but I’m tired and I just want to be honest with y’all.

So here we are.

I’m a little nervous to post this, but I just really needed to get these things off my chest and I hope you guys understand where I’m coming from.

Sit down and grab a snack because this is going to be rambly personal AF.

2018 Goals // Keep Up with my TBR, Work on my WIP, Self-Care (!!!) and tracking my Habits

Have you ever set yourself New Year’s Resolutions and abandonded them two weeks into the new year?

Yeah. I think we can all relate.

I planned to do a 2018 goals post at the very beginning of the year so I could easily go back to it and hold myself accountable for actually keeping up with them.

As you can probably tell, I already failed that task.

I planned to abandon this post altogether because it seemed pretty pointless to post it when we’re already two months into the year. However, it is NEVER too late to set yourself some goals for the year so here I am.

you may have seen Swetlana’s post from last week about her 2018 reading goals which PROVES that it’s not too late!

Let’s hope I’ll actually stick to these goals instead of abandoning them like I do every year.

December Recap // Christmas celebrations, fangirl mania and SO MANY BOOKS!

I know we’re already in the middle of January, but December was too good of a month for me.

It was Christmas and I got the best presents from family (BOOKS), friends (BOOKS) and myself (BOOKS). And yes, buying yourself Christmas presents is a thing because you can never have enough books.

December was also my best reading month of the year??? And I just barely* reached my unofficial goal of reading 100 books in 2017??? PHEW.

And what kind of fangirl would I be if I didn’t find a ton of new things to obsess about this month.

Bi the way!!! Don’t forget to enter my *INTERNATIONAL* giveaway which ends next week ahhhh!

*I literally read two comics books 30 minutes before 2018 began!

2017 Wrap Up // Best and Worst + Most Suprising and Disappointing Books of 2017 and everything in between!

Well, well, well. Guess who’s back from the dead her unannounced hiatus.

IT’S YA GIRL JACKIE (in case you forgot my name lmao) aka the one who takes a month to reply to comments and almost never blog hops anymore because she’s trash life gets in the way. But what’s new *shrugs*

I actually planned to go on a 2-week long hiatus between Christmas and now, and I planned to have at least two more posts up before I did that and actually announce the hiatus but….. you know….

THE STRUGGLES OF BEING #LAZY AND #DEMOTIVATED.

But I’m back now (at least for a week or two?) before I go on another hiatus because I’ll be in study hell I mean– okay no I really mean STUDY HELL.

Before I do that though, I wanted to take a look at the year 2017. I honestly can’t believe how FAST it went by—I swear, this was one of the quickest years EVER and while I have accomplished and done some incredible things, I still feel that overall it was pretty meh and I could have done MORE.

However, my 2017 from a bookish perspective was fantastic and it was THE BEST reading year I’ve had so far???? I’m SOOOO excited to go through my Goodreads shelves and see which books I loved and hated most this year AHHHH.

October Wrap Up aka the best month of the year!!! // birthday celebrations, some fangirling and SO MANY good books!!!

October has been an absolutely brilliant month for me. I am genuinely just SO HAPPY about everything that’s happened!!!

The first thing that needs to be mentioned is my return to blogging (which I’m still SO excited about!)—I still suck at blog hopping and commenting back on time but things are looking up! And I really enjoy writing blog posts again which is wonderful!

Secondly, I’ve read so many great books this month and I actively tried to read books that I was in the mood for, books on my physical TBR that I’ve been meaning to read for YEARS AKA SIX OF CROWS BITCHEEEESSSSS, and Netgalley ARCs that I’ve been wanting to knock off my shelves!

Thirdly, I’ve done some fantastic prepping and plotting for my novel and I feel ready to tackle NaNoWriMo………. is what I wish I could say. But no. That didn’t happen.

Fourthly (is that even a thing), I went to two concerts which made me SO FREAKING HAPPY and I also feel very happy and confident in general. I had WAY LESS anxiety this month than I had all year and I’m just so HAPPY lately. I’m kicking anxiety’s ass ❤

It’s just been an overall fantastic month and I’m super happy. October has probably been my favourite month all year!

My plans and goals for Fall // NaNoWriMo, blogging and being ~artsy~

It’s October, also known as the best month of the year for several reasons!

• #1: my birthday is this month
• #2: it’s the month of mysteries and spookiness aka HALLOWEEN
• i’m forever sad that we don’t officially celebrate it here in Germany—MY INNER EMO WITCH NEEDS TO BE RELEASED. THE WORLD SHALL NOW MY WRATH.

accurate representation of me trying to be evil but actually looking stupid

• #3: it’s Fall! the season of cold weather, mustard and burgundy colours, sweaters and coziness and just OVERALL GREATNESS
• and rainy days which is just… YUCK (but also not-yuck when you’re inside, cuddled up in bed with a good book, lit candles and some tea #cozy)
• IT’S MY FAVOURITE SEASON OF THEM ALL.*

*stop lying jackie. whenever a new season begins, I always say that this one is my favourite of them all. when it’s not. i’m just lying to myself.**

**but actually, Fall does have a special place in my heart because I’M A FALL BABY SO I HAVE A DEEPER CONNECTION. #FALLBABIESUNITE

According to Google, Fall begins on September 22nd and ends on December 21st. DECEMBER??? REALLY?????????

I almost consider November the start of WINTER so how can fall last until DECEMBER. AND THREE DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS WHICH IS PRACTICALLY THE MIDST OF WINTER??? I AM CONFUSION.

We’ve run a bit off track here—the point of this post is to share my ambitious but exciting Fall plans and goals! As we now know, Fall lasts until December so I have PLENTY OF TIME to achieve these goals.

GUESS WHO’S BACK (back again), JACKIE’S BACK (tell a friend) // I’ve returned + A COMPLETELY NEW BLOG DESIGN (it’s so pretty)

I DID IT.

I ACTUALLY FREAKING DID IT. *pops confetti*

Guess who finally handed in her term papers and now has all the time in the world (actually I only have a week) to get back into blogging!!! THIS GIRRRRL.

*cue Eminem’s Without Me aka the “Guess who’s back, back again” song*

Some of you might not even remember me because my hiatus lasted way too long—I said I’d be back July 31st and now it’s October hA I’m the worst :’) You’re probably wondering where this creepy new girl in your Reader came from and WHO EVEN ARE YOU????? I DON’T REMEMBER FOLLOWING YOU. GET OUT.

Ummm, first of all—chill??? Maybe??? There’s not reason to be rude???

Secondly, it’s ME. It’s Jackie aka Too Much of a Booknerd aka the girl who won’t shut up about Shatter Me and Warnette (and Harry Styles) aka the girl with uncreative and boring content aka the girl whose blog design/graphics were the WORST and messiest ever.

BUT ALL OF THAT CHANGED (except the Warnette and Harry Styles part lol i’m still WHIPPED).

I redesigned my entire blog!!! AND I’M SO FREAKING PROUD OF IT. Seriously, if you’re reading this post in your Reader right now… don’t. Come and visit my actual site and let your eyes be blessed with the most beautiful blog design I have ever created.

I literally tear up a little every time I visit my blog and see my header because IT’S SO PRETTY AND PERFECT AND I’M SO IN LOVE WITH IT. BLESS.